there is a time for the evening under starlight,
a time for the evening under lamplight
(the evening with the photograph album).
(t.s. eliot, the four quartets)
It’s been almost two months since I’ve been here. Things look a little different (and not just because I redesigned the header). I’m a different person than I was two months ago, although I’m not quite sure what’s changed. I travelled all around the country auditioning for music schools, and then came home. And home is the same, but I am not.
I have learned to love life more. I have learned to push myself harder than I ever would have thought possible, and I have learned when to rest. And most of all I have learned to place my trust in God no matter what. Some things might not turn out the way you thought they would, but His plan is better than mine.
Even still, sometimes I miss gallivanting around the country. There was a sense of excitement to it. I’m going on an adventure. And sometimes I’m happy to be home, before I leave next year on another adventure.
All that being said, all this traveling and this series of auditions is only a slight foretaste into what my life will be like starting next fall. Everything I am is going to go into violin. And that’s what I want. I’m not going to stop loving great books and having deep conversations - banish the thought! But things will be different. I don’t know quite how yet, because I’m still in the process of choosing a school (after getting back some exciting offers!) People who haven’t gone through this process won’t quite know how difficult it is - there are many more factors than one would think that go into choosing a school. (I may do a post on that at some point - it’s important, even if it isn’t very literary.)
I guess all this is to say that though I will be posting and writing, it won’t be as often. But I will never stop loving the things that prompted me to start this blog, and I hope to keep it as long as I can. In the interim, I’m starting to do some more writing again, and will hopefully post a lot more in the weeks to come.
I have only a few months left before I leave this part of my life behind forever and I am going to hold onto them tight until there is nothing left to hold. I am going to get the most out of them and cherish the memories. Of people, of laughter, of difficulties, of doing hard and good and beautiful things together. I’m going to miss it, this world. But I’m going to do something that I love, and I am going to do it well for the glory of God. And my childhood home and these friends I have made, they are not lost. I am only leaving for a time, like I have done before, and then I will come back.
I will come back, and we will laugh together again.
